this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
