WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize