Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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