Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Randomize
