Whod you bang
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
