I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
