i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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