check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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