Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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