Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
