I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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