Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
