Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
