Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize