my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize