She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
