naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
