did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize