I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
