I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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