dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Small penises have feelings too.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
