This is not my ceiling
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
