Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Drake has all the answers
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
