i think i have herpe
just one?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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