I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
