the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
