I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
