I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
