i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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