He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
