do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
