C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
