she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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