She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
