he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
