I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
