You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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