omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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