that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
