Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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