is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
