hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize