She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
