i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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