my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
