I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
