Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just blew my weed a kiss
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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