you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
