all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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