I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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