thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
