Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
