she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
