So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
