But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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