How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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