my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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