theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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