Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
