Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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