Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
