how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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