I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
