Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
