Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
