Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You took a bar mat shot.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize